Doc Ellis and the LSD No No
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Funny Baseball Player Names List - Updated
(Shirt from Zazzle.com)
Here’s the how the hell did we miss these guys? list:
Albert Pujols
Dickie Thon
Antonio Bastardo
Chet Lemon
Razor Shines
Rusty Kuntz
Boof Bonser
Harry Byrd
Dick Dietz
Kosuke Fukudome
“Ugly” Johnny Dickshot (ref)
Goose Gossage
Urban Shocker (ref)
Catfish Hunter
Greg Legg (ref)
Wonderful Terrific Monds III (ref)
Bartolo Colon
A-Rod
From our old list:
Gaylord Perry
Mackey Sasser
Rollie Fingers
Chili Davis
Oil Can Boyd
Mike Sweeny (Mike’s Weenie)
Coco Crisp
Lenny Dykstra
Chien Ming Wang
The Big Unit
Milton Bradley
Mookie Wilson
Dick Pole
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I'm gonna Murder the Hell Outta some Birds
Cricket is one of those games you hate until you understand just how much murder happens. This was popular on digg.
Remember when Randy Johnson killed that bird?
Oh tennis players. Always hammin’ it up.
And this one is San Lorenzo’s Gastón Aguirre related, so you know it’s good.
And the Bird that finally struck back: Larry Bird. His weapon of choice: pants!
I believe the “take home” of this ad is this: Larry Bird’s ass can play video games.
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This Week in Bronson Arroyo
In our weekly update on comedic videos featuring Bronson Arroyo, here’s one with an angry portrayal of Charlie Chaplin:
Here’s one with Arroyo performing an Oasis cover live in a coffee shop. Willy Taveras on sax.
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Juan Pierre actually a 17th c. Spanish explorer
In a shocking statement this morning, Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder Juan Pierre has revealed that he is actually an explorer from the 1600’s.
“I’ve dressed in the manner of a Moor to simply conquer the world of contemporary baserunning at the speed as I once conquered Peru.”
“Booya!” he exclaimed with a thick, gay, Spanish accent.
He later went on to describe that his quickness was derived from the hunting and slaughtering of thousands of Incas.
He then stabbed everyone in sight including teammate Randy Wolf who was actually a wolf in Randy’s clothing.
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Polled My Groin: Juan Pierre
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Bonds breaks all-time home run record to little fan fare
Barry Bonds broke the all-time home run record by hitting his 757th career fuck you er, home run, in a 5-0 win over the San Diego Padres.
Despite this great achievement, the moment was met with little fanfare. Bonds did, however, pre-record a message that he played to himself on his iphone.
“What you’ve accomplished takes skill, longevity, and determination. Wink wink, nudge nudge” started the message which went on to congratulate Bonds and make fun of Jeff Kent.
Bonds said that he understood that there is controversy surrounding him and that he is not a fan favorite outside of San Francisco but said he was hoping for a little more excitmeent from the baseball community.
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Chillin' wit Schillin'
Opinions are like assholes, and Curt Schilling’s an asshole. I think that’s how the saying goes…
Schill was back at it pointing fingers and being holier than y’all. Discussing Bonds, McGwire, Canseco, and the steroid era, Schilling waxed poetic about how he’s awesome and they’re shitty with everybody’s favorite condescender – Bob Costas.
Even when he’s right about the points he’s making, he still comes off as an arrogant prick.
In fact, it’s so bad that the other day on his radio show I heard Jim Rome (JIM ROME!!) implying that Schilling runs his mouth too much. Rome was recalling a major leaguer who commented on Schilling “Is there anything this guy isn’t an authority on?”
And that was before Schilling was famous.
In other news, Mike Piazza – who apparently DH’s for the A’s now – was hit in the head with a water bottle by a fan. (Link). It would’ve been funnier if the pizza thrower from Boston got him, but funny nonetheless.
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